A Tail of Two Shrimps

A Tail of Two Shrimps: Poached and Etoufee, Part 1

Moving to the Texas Gulf Coast at an early age came with some definite benefits. My late father was a beach hound, and we spent nearly every weekend on Galveston Island, working on our Irish Tans (that's when your freckles grown together enough to cover up how red your Northern European ass has gotten from not wearing sunscreen), dodging Portugese Man-O-Wars ( a particularly mean variety of jellyfish,) and pretending that there were sharks inches from my little sister. That last part worked out pretty well, and to spectacular effect, but that's another story.

On the drive home, we'd usually stop in a small fishing village called Kemah, which is now a popular tourist trap resort destination, but back in the 70's and 80's, it was filled with honky-tonks, seafood restaurants, and best of all,seafood shops run by Vietnamese immigrant families. We used to get the biggest, freshest shrimp imaginable for very little cash. 

Rose's Seafood was our favorite, and thirty years and several hurricanes later, my family still shops there. Here's why:

Rose's has fifteen feet of counter space dedicated to various sizes and types of shrimp, both head-on and cleaned. The head-on 12-count per pound Colossal brown Gulf Shrimp costs around $7 per pound. Seriously. You'd pay three times that at Whole Foods. Here's why you want the ones with the heads: firstly, you can chase your wife or kids around with them, because they gross people out for some reason; secondly, the heads make the finest fume, or seafood stock you can get. And you need the fume pour la etoufee, mon cher! 

But first, a word about the most horrifically mistaken use of this noble creature, the Overcooked Boiled Shrimp Cocktail. In a word, it's just plain bad. There's almost nothing more disappointing, other than going home alone on a Saturday night, than an overcooked shrimp. Tough, chewy, flavorless. What you want is briny, springy, and shrimpy. There are two ways to accomplish this. One is to come over to my house on any given weekend when my mother-in-law is over for dinner. She's allergic to shellfish, and I always find some excuse to make sure shrimp is on the menu. The other is to do EXACTLY as I say in the following recipe.

Tough Shrimp--you're doing it wrong, Otho!

MadDawgg's Fool-proof Perfect Poached Shrimp 

2 lbs. 10-12 count per pound shrimp

4 quarts water

4 tbs sea salt (estimated)

2 bay leaves

1 small onion, cut in half

1/2 head garlic, cut in half crosswise

1 lemon, cut in half and/or

2 cups white wine

10 pepper corns

parsley stems, celery leaves, and/or fresh dill

cayenne pepper

Bring the water to a rolling boil, adding enough salt to simulate seawater. This makes the shrimp happy. Add all other ingredients, squeezing lemons into the water before adding the halves. Cover and let this rip for about 20 minutes to infuse.

Remove the heads, peel, and devein shrimp. I usually do this by holding the shrimp against the cutting board and running a very sharp paring knife from the middle of the meat up through the dorsal section from front to back. This nearly butterflies them, exposes the digestive tract which can be picked out (to throw at your kids or little sister) and makes it very easy to take off the shells. Reserve the heads and shells for stock (that's in Part Deux of this post._

Add shrimp to the pot, stirring, and bring back to a boil. Cover, and take off heat. Let sit for 10-12 minutes. Remove shrimp to an ice bath--a bowl filled with ice cubes and a little water to stop the cooking process immediately. Remove to a dry towel to drain. Serve with cocktail sauce.

Dad's Kick Ass Cocktail Sauce

Ketchup, 1 cup

Chili Sauce, 3 tbs.
Grated Horseradish, 2-4 tbs, depending on your degree of wussiness/badassness

Worcestershire Sauce, several dashes

Tabasco, don't be a wuss--use lots

Chopped capers, 3 tbs.

Lemon juice, 3 tbs

Salt and Pepper to taste

Mix all well. Adjust according to taste. Chill well before serving.